Modesty,Maidenhood, the Hidden Art of the Feminine with a word to Men.
First of all greetings to all
of you, in the name of our beloved Saviour,Our Lord Jesus Christ to whom we owe everything. For the male readers I would simply say that we need to greet each other and assert ourselves in a compassionate, and firm and gentle way to each other as men within the Christian community of brothers and sisters in Christ. That we should wish to learn yet again to value the feminine,( see my article here called More Enlightening News) for girls are not,lays one nighters,,and all the other nasty stuff in words and deeds that are paraded around by men as being somehow manly. It most definitely is not. It is demeaning, nasty and rude and we should weep with repentance before the Throne of God for it. If you looked for me in that throng some time ago sadly you would have seen my face. Girls I apologise. You are not candidates for the big brass bed as Dylan used to say, (I am not sure what he says now?)but of course within the marriage vows including trust,honour and love, where there is mutual agreement and no cruelty etc. etc. there is biblical room for love, for sensation for enjoyment.
As the Bible itself says and do not forget this is God himself speaking to mankind."The marriage bed is undefiled." So girls if your gentle and considerate and hopefully Christian husband wants to enter the bedroom in a glorious and unusual way to display how much he loves you swinging on the chandelier in his smalls and exclaiming in glad tones " Thank God for donated ribs" fear not gentle damsel for God smiles on him no doubt with possibly an admonition to watch out for the safety only of the roof. For you,He smiles on you too in your clothing or lack of it with perhaps the only admonition that the chandelier should not be over the bed but some distance from it to allow for your safety. Perhaps a spare mattress could be provided under the chandelier to avoid injuries to a ultra keen husband.
I am thrilled to be a man,I am excited to be a man , I am glad to have in my heart and a desire to see in general culture a high place, a high place that the Biblical narrative can provide,the high place e that some misplaced feminist ideology has taken away from women. Power for a man or a woman is not necessarily hardness, and hardness of heart too. Who is the most powerful man ever to be then or ever on Planet Earth?.It was Jesus. Who was the most compassionate man in the New Testament that took steps to save the woman caught in adultery and forgive her sins and set her free without asking for sexual favours I might add. It was Jesus. Who was moved so much by the woman who bathed His feet,dried them with her hair,and nourished and cared for them by the use of a fragrant and very expensive ointment with love and humility. It was Jesus. Who was it that wept and we do not know the duration or extent of that weeping (and He was angry too,at death, as the original text in Hebrew Aramaic makes plain),there is our model. Jesus. He is our standard for belief, for behaviour, for honouring women. For the girls now for I have delayed speaking of you for a reason. When at the wedding in Canaan they were short of wine Jesus made the water into wine and one guest said something like this " ah you have kept the best wine until the end",going from plonk to champagne. You are the champagne in life, you are the cream in our coffee, the milk in our breakfast cereal,the icing on the cake. You are what keeps the human race alive. Men cannot do it. As ones who spread the evangel, the good news of Christ the Messiah, we all can sow seed in the dark,hidden in the ground,and the ground of your being,but it is God Himself who gives the increase. So it is with you, you give the increase by the Grace of God..
The next abbreviated and sadly true story is for background only to my next point. I live alone now. Since 1990. Not a situation I welcome. God is discreet at times and in the watches of the night when sadness and loneliness threaten to overwhelm He sends me the Comforter who gives me songs in the night even before I think of praying,even while the tears come. I asked the Lord a long time ago that He would make my desert blossom as the rose and my situation has been relatively unchanged since 1994 but He has taught me,He has like the Good Shepherd he is,left the flock to find the single sheep that was lost and swept it up into His arms and has carried it ever since. He still does bless Him. My wife was unfaithful and cruel,she she still is as my ex-wife and she said she was a Christian. As the good book says "ye shall know them by their fruit".I have two children from the marriage who I can never see and three grandchildren who I have never seen. I was betrayed by my best friend from Bible College days and I came in early and found him in a place where he had no right being being intimate with my wife. This is not to express my grief,God watches over me and I am grateful for my tears,it has taught me compassion for which I praise God. It is an illustration from true life to partly at least express graphically the damage that happens through ill thought sexual liaisons to which I have heard described as slam,bam,thank you mam, and please forgive the crudity expressed there .It is no part of me thank God. That action and attitude does great and lasting damage to women and to men too though they need educating about it. The damage is spiritual not physical unless there are STD's present in which case for many in Africa for example for men and women it can be fatal. Men's brains are low slung from birth and it usually takes some time for them to reach their heads. Their thought patterns are located often between their hips. Not all men are like this but a distressing amount are. Men sometimes too are emotional dwarfs. I would recommend a Scottish Film put out on worldwide release called "Gregory's Girl" which illustrates the whole point in a very funny and sensitive way which is not rude,smutty, or foul-mouthed and treats girls with honour respect and sensitivity which I am sure all may enjoy. I would suggest that you take it out on loan and watch it together,have a nice laugh and discuss it in the light of scripture. The film is by Bill Forsyth. I have wandered but the point is in all this that marriage is a divine institution invoked and honoured by God and it provides both safety,love,encouragement,forgiveness and good nurture for children who come from the union. Virginity then is a great boon,innocence is not naivety,Jesus was innocent but not naive. Virginity preserves you for someone who loves you above the waist,above the breasts, for someone who cannot think of anything apart from His love of God himself to have you as his blushing bride. For better,for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and forsaking all others and to honour you,love you,respect you, adore you as long as you both shall live so help you God. To mention men again briefly,men react badly to indiscreet clothing choices by women. Same for women. Or to put it another way we all need water,life is impossible without it. New Orleans was devastated by the levies breaking and there was many deaths because of the floods. In other countries when Tsunamis have struck because of earthquake tremors there far out at sea there has been devastation of lives and many deaths. Unbridled lust has the same effect. So you can possibly imagine my delight when I came across a particular site called http://feelinfeminine.com/ with such beauty in feminine clothing like that womanhood becomes fascinating again, it is like imagination and mystery and beauty and truth restored to the world. The difference if you like between Lord of the Rings and Jerry Springer. Why do I say that you might well ask,it is because of the clothing,no longer contours to distract but character to enjoy (contours are still noticed and delighted in even by a sixty year old like me)but they do not invade my space, they do not introduce smut into my life by kicking in the door to help let lust come charging in. It is grace that greets me,I love clothes like that preserving the proprieties but leaving a little bit of magic and mystery behind for the male imagination. The reason is that men are very visually oriented. So to continue I by the way would heartily recommend the books by( the Schaeffer's, Francis A Schaeffer and Edith his wife) but in particular Edith Schaeffer whose books "L'abri","Hidden Art" and "What is a Family" are very helpful for family life. The home schooling books by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay based on the Charlotte Mason method could also be useful as you think through the idea of marriage and family life. Perhaps a critic might say in terms of my choice of feminine clothing I would have liked for my daughter Rebekah I suffer from too much Jane Austen ,Emily,Dickinson,Little House on the Prairie. Edith Nesbit,my friend Irina (Ratushinskya),in nourishing in your children to be a love for the arts and humanities,these things are not wrong in themselves necessarily. We bow to scripture properly understood,text and context. She like me writes poetry but her own is light years away from mine in quality. These people may have a point,I don't care. My hope is fixed on nothing less than the restoration of a high view of women,where honour and respect for each other is encouraged and enhanced,where women again find their true place,women were not made from man's feet to be ruled by men, they were not made from man's skull to rule over men,they were made from man's side, to be a companion,a friend, to be co-equals to His Grace and to have friendship with God again now through our Lord Jesus Christ who in His substitutionary death made a way for us back to God.. We were not worshipping God as such in Genesis but we were friends with God. He did not limit himself in his Godhead walking in the Garden of Eden but He loves His creation for the same reason we love ours and that is because we made them ourselves. We are personal, we share the capacity of personal beings like God for we are made in His image. We are not Infinite, as He is infinite, we are not all powerful as He is all powerful but the reason He made mankind was not because He was lonely. He is a Trinitarian God,God the Father,God the Son,God the Holy Spirit. It pleased him to make us. Where it all goes wrong is in the historic space time fall where mankind sinned. Then all including the Earth goes all pear-shaped . That is the reason why the husband has the place he has, it is not because he is better, it is because of sin. That is the same reason why the wife has the place she has, it was constituted as a protection for both until full redemption is gained partly by Christ's life, death,and resurrection,partly by future events that God will be in charge of. Meanwhile for us we are sealed for redemption now and glory in due time. but the point is that even in this life we can work together towards our final restoration which is promised. The Lion will lie down with the Lamb praise God. Proverbs 31 is helpful in showing that where women can be strong,buying and selling land etc. and so can their husbands and there can be mutual care,love and faithfulness and respect between them. The family who prays together bonds better and increase their chances of staying together even in the world we live in now where divorce is considered normal. It is not. Normal is God's will. Anything outside that is not. This is where a man calls himself blessed when he has found a good wife for her price is far above rubies. When they stick by each other, are faithful to each other and their children are safe,nurtured and blessed and grow up to make wise choices and good marriages if they marry and if not that can be fine too .The readiness is all for both possibilities,Then the parents can feel blessed by God and so they are. Others might have different blessings now. We all have an individual life to lead whatever our situation. May we by the Grace of God see this happening in our lifetime and may God bless us and keep us in His so glorious redeeming love.